What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

You try to sleep all day.

Sleep all night.

But try as you might,

You can’t do it;

You say your chest feels tight.


What did you do to deserve this?

Every day you have a near miss.

You knock politely on Death’s door,

You say you can’t take anymore.

What would I do without you Mum?

What did you do?

What did you do?

It’s making me go numb.


You shower the bed with your morning pills,

Never knowing how bad this makes me feel.

I want to take away the pain.

All I see is how fed up you are.

Doctors constantly keep lowering the bar.


You’ve dealt with so much from such a young age.

You keep telling me to turn the next page,

And see what’s going to happen in the book of life.

Whether it’s the last or beginning page,

Just strive.


For so long you’ve been my shield.

No matter how ill,

You feel.

No matter how hot the flames go,

You have never ever left me alone.

Even though I worry every single night,

You’re the angel that never leaves my side.


When you go into hospital.

I’m the one to make that call.

With you fighting the pain,

And me fighting the shame.

I think I am to blame.

I’m not able to help you.

Oh I know you feel it too.

You want to help me,

But for now I say ‘let it be’.

You’re the one whimpering,

And hoping to stop suffering.


So even though I want you to stay,

I’ll be your little angel and never stray.

I’ll get you the help and make you well.

Now you need me as much as I need you.

Now I see all the pain I caused you.

What did you do?


You don’t deserve all of this.

I wish I could dismiss,

All the pain,

Coursing through your veins.

Or just make it tame.

All my life, I have never seen you,

Without Death gliding behind you too.


What did you do Mum?

It’s made me numb.